he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
