I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
