I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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