Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
