1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS