i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.