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I am in a vortex of obligation.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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