How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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