It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
