Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
