thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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