you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
