i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
