I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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