I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This is my gift to your gina
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
