Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
