The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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