haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
