Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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