I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
