He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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