I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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