I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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