he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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