i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I intend to get homeless drunk
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
