wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well I just put wine in my tea
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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