My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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