you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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