dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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