pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a burrito and a hug.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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