I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I love you. Go after that dick
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
