I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have fence marks all over my body
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
