I'm so fucking centered right now
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
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does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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