walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
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its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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