the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize