someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
