Can i not drive my cunt home
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
