Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wish you could order shots online.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
