Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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