My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
