Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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