someone get that fucking seahorse.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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