you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
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And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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