I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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