Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
