I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
