hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
