it hurts more in the daytime
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
