oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
