I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
