whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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