just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
