im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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