Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she told me i tasted like america
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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