Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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