Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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