You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize