im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
